Out of Darkness
by edenfalls81
Summary: Simon's life changes forever and everyone on board is affected by it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly or any of its characters. I wish I did, but if wishes were horses… well Jayne would be happy.

Author's note: Italics are flashbacks.

Chapter 1

It had been three months to the day that Simon's world had changed forever. He woke up with that thought on his mind. He lay in his bunk thinking back to that day, the feel of Kaylee's warm body next to his and the clean smell of her hair in his nostrils was a slight comfort as he remembered that morning.

_It was just a small job, dropping a few crates of cargo onto some dusty moon on the rim. Something the crew had done a thousand times before today. Mal, Jayne, and Simon were stacking the crates on the ground while Zoë spoke with the farmer who had ordered the shipment of seeds that they were delivering. _

_Simon clearly remembered looking over at Zoë and smiling, even with the grief of losing her husband only five months before she looked radiant. Her face had that glow that people talked about pregnant women having and every minute or so her hand would move to caress her expanding belly. Everyone on Serenity was excited about the baby, losing two of their own had been so painful and the prospect of new life was a comfort and source of pleasure for them all, even Mal who was still grumbling about how babies didn't belong on a spaceship. _

_Suddenly a large man came galloping up on a horse. He was tall and wearing a large black duster and had a large brimmed hat pulled down so that it obscured almost all of his facial features._

"_Zoë Alleyne a little birdie back in town told me that you were here making a drop but I didn't really believe it was you till just now. Looks like you got yourself knocked up then huh? Well ain't that just perfect after what you done to me ya damn bitch!"_

_It was then that the man pulled his hat back to reveal his face. As soon as his features became clear Zoë swore and reached for the spot where her gun usually hung, forgetting that she had been forced to stop wearing her holster because it no longer fit around her waistline. _

_Simon heard the noise first and still had no idea how he managed to be faster than both Mal and Jayne, they were the ones trained to deal with stuff like this not him. But Simon heard a slight pop and glanced over to see the large man clutching a round metal ball behind his back. Almost as soon as Simon heard the noise he saw the large man's arm reach back to throw the small metal ball clenched in his fist. Without thinking twice Simon dove towards Zoë and pushed her out of the way before landing on the ground himself. It was less than a second later when Simon looked up and was able to catch the quickest glimpse of the metal ball landing directly in front of his face and then his world exploded into a searing white light and then darkness._

_When Simon woke up he knew he was in the infirmary, the clean medicinal smell was one he knew well. He tried to open his eyes, but found that he couldn't get them to open. He reached his hand up and found that his eyes had been wrapped in gauze, which explained why he was having problems opening them._

"_Hey Simon try and hold still ok? You were hurt pretty bad but we got you to the infirmary and patched you up." Mal told him reassuringly as he pushed Simon's hand back down to the bed._

"_Zoë? Is Zoë ok? I pushed her and she hit the ground, is the baby alright?" Simon questioned remembering his last glimpse of Zoë hitting the ground._

"_Zoë's fine, she's laying down in her room but her and the baby are both ok." This time it was Kaylee who spoke to him, it sounded like she had been crying. He heard her move to his side and felt the comforting stroke of her hand running through his hair._

"_What happened? Who was that man and what the hell was that thing he threw at Zoë?" Simon questioned trying to sit up but being forced back down to the table by a pair of strong hands. _

"_The man was Zachary Jones. He was in Zoë's first platoon in the war." Mal answered._

"_So if they were in the army together why did he try to kill her?" Kaylee asked._

"_I never got all the details from Zoë but I guess one night he tried something with Zoë and she stopped him." Mal answered vaguely._

"_He tried to…" Kaylee trailed off._

"_Yeah he tried to rape her and from what Zoë says she took out her knife and stabbed him. Stabbed him in a place where, well lets just say he ain't capable of raping anyone ever again." Mal finished uncomfortably. _

"_Ok I get why he was so mad at her now, but what was that thing he threw that blew up in my face?" Simon questioned. The silence that followed filled his stomach with a cold dread._

"_Please would someone just answer me? I've got my eyes all bandaged up so I can't see anything, it would really help if someone would just tell me what's going on." Simon said beginning to sound angry and afraid as he sat up on the bed once again._

"_Ok Simon relax, I know you're the doctor and all but I would bet money that you have a pretty bad concussion so I don't think you should be movin a whole lot or getting upset." Mal replied sternly but gently. Simon once again allowed himself to be pushed down onto the bed and took a deep breath as he waited for an explanation._

"_It was a nova bomb. Kinda like a flash bomb, but a hell of a lot brighter and without the noise. We used ta use em at night, temporarily blind the enemy, create confusion that sorta thing." Mal answered._

"_So if they aren't deadly why do you sound so upset? What's wrong with me?" Simon asked, the doctor part of his mind was already coming to the conclusion on its own, but trying to deny what he suspected anyway._

"_Simon nova bombs are meant to be used on a group of people, their range is usually about twenty feet away from the target, this one went off less than a foot from you. It sent you flying about ten feet right into Serenity, you hit your head really hard on the hull and well your eyes…" Mal trailed off._

"_Mal whatever it is just tell me." Simon said growing impatient with the captain for dancing around the issue._

"_Look Simon I'm not a doctor, that's your job. But I knew a guy once who had a nova bomb go off in his face accidentally, I'm just going off what happened to him." Mal tried to explain._

"_Well what happened to him?" Simon asked. The doctor in him was already making a diagnosis; a flash of light that bright directly into the eyes would cause scarring of the cornea and the pupils to constrict too fast, causing a tearing of the retinas. Retinal detachment could be fixed in most cases if surgery was performed within a few hours of the injury, after that a lack of blood flow to the severed retinas would make them useless and the only treatment for severe corneal scarring was a complete eye transplant._

"_How long have I been out?" Simon asked breaking the silence since the captain still hadn't answered his last question._

"_You been out about six hours, we were gonna take you to the medical outpost on Greenleaf, but you were stable and I don't think there's much they could do for you there that we couldn't do here on Serenity. Plus there's an Alliance cruiser in orbit, so we couldn't take ya in there anyway." Mal answered quietly. "And well I'm not sure if…" Mal trailed off again._

"_You don't think there's anything a doctor could do anyway right?" Simon interrupted, his voice beginning to tremble slightly._

"_Look Simon lets just take off the bandages and see what we got ok? Maybe that bomb didn't do too much damage or maybe you closed your eyes right before it went off. Everything is probably just shiny." Kaylee added then in her cheery tone, but Simon knew her well enough now to tell when she was using her cheerfulness to mask pain and worry. _

_Simon felt Kaylee lean over him and press her warm lips to his own. She then helped him into a sitting position and he felt her hands begin to unwind the bandages from around his head. He drew in a breath as the air hit the large cut on the back of his head, causing it to sting._

"_Ok Simon go ahead and open your eyes…"_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Simon held Kaylee tighter as he thought back over that day. Just like he did every morning he took a breath and opened his eyes. He let his breath out in a disappointed hiss when all he saw was darkness. He wondered if there would ever be a day when he would just wake up and get out of bed without thinking about his blindness. Would there ever be a day when he didn't hold his breath in anticipation hoping that by some miracle that would be the day that he would open his eyes to find that he could see again. At least now he had begun to adjust to his disability, the first few months after his accident had been hellish.

"_Ow Gorram it!" Simon yelled and held his throbbing shin in his hand._

"_Simon are you ok?" Kaylee of course. Simon sighed, he loved Kaylee so much, but in the month since he'd been blinded she was with him almost constantly. She followed him around making sure he didn't bump into things and when she wasn't with him she was watching him._

"_I'm fine Kaylee I just hit my shin on something." Simon replied sounding more irritated than he meant to. He knew that he had been short and mean to everyone on board since he had been hurt. It was just so frustrating all the time, walking into things, having to ask for help for simple tasks, needing people to do things for him, and not being able to be a doctor. He felt useless now, he didn't have a job anymore, couldn't help out his friends when they were hurt. Sometimes it made him just want to fall to his knees and scream until his voice gave out. _

_Everyone on the ship was being kind about his attitude, even Jayne, and this somehow irritated Simon more. He couldn't see, but that didn't make him helpless, he wasn't some fragile thing that was going to break. Simon heard the familiar ring of Kaylees' boots as she hurried over to him._

"_Oh Simon you're shin is bleeding. Come on lets go to the infirmary and put a weave on it ok." Kaylee soothed as she grabbed his hand and tried to lead him to the infirmary._

"_Kaylee its not that big of a ship, I can make it to the infirmary without you leading me there like a child." Simon snapped. He heard the slight intake of breath from Kaylee and knew that he had hurt her feelings, again. It seemed like all he did lately was look like an idiot and snap at the people who loved him. Simon reached out his hand for Kaylee and managed to find her shoulder. He pulled her to him and embraced her. _

"_I'm sorry bao-bei, I didn't mean to snap at you. Its just, well my shin hurts and its frustrating knowing I hurt myself just by walking into something, I don't even know what it was."_

"_Jayne's weight bench, that's what you hit." Kaylee said her voice slightly muffled because she was still pressed into his shoulder. It only took a few seconds before Kaylee forgave him and returned his hug, holding him tightly, like she was hoping she could make things better if she just held on tight enough._

"_Damn I thought I was getting a lot better at knowing where things are on the ship. Can't believe I walked into the weight bench." Simon replied trying to make his frustration seem lighter than it was._

"_It got moved, it's not where it usually is. That's why you hit it." Kaylee comforted trying to make him feel better. They had reached the infirmary by then and Kaylee washed out the cut on his leg then applied a bandage. She then hopped up onto the table next to Simon and held his hand._

"_Simon I know things are bad for you right now, but its gonna get easier. Everyone on the ship is here for ya. We'll get through this, I'm always gonna be here, you know that right?" Kaylee said and laid her head on Simon's shoulder._

"_I know Kaylee. I just…well you shouldn't have to be with some blind guy who needs you to take care of him. You deserve better than that. If you think this is too much, I won't blame you for not wanting to be with me. Really I won't be upset, I want you to have the best."_

_It was right about then that Kaylee slapped him across the face._

"_Simon Tam how can you even say that to me?! I love you and I ain't goin nowhere. Is this your way of sayin you don't want to be with me? Cause if you don't you better just grow a ruttin pair and tell me straight!" Simon sat shocked for only a second before he burst out laughing._

"_Damn Kaylee that's the first time since this go-se happened that you talked to me like a normal guy. You have no idea how good that felt!" He laughed again and then moved his hand to Kaylee's face. He brushed his fingers gently over her cheeks and the adorable tip of her nose. She was so clear in his mind right then that it was almost like he could see her again. He pulled her over and began to kiss her deeply. Kaylee was so shocked by the sudden turn around in Simon that for a second she couldn't even kiss him back. Their kisses became longer and deeper and soon both of them had removed their shirts. Kaylee pushed herself away from Simon suddenly and sat up. _

"_Simon maybe we should go to your bunk, someone could see us here in the infirmary." _

_Simon sat up and pretended to look around the room, "Well I don't see anybody, I think we're safe." Kaylee burst out laughing and then stopped herself, she wasn't sure if his blindness was something to be laughing at. _

"_Hey Kaylee its ok. I mean I'm going to be like this forever so lets just stop worrying about the fact that I can't see ok?" Simon said and pulled her back down on top of him to resume their previous activities. It was the first time they had made love since he'd lost his sight and for Simon it was a turning point. The day he accepted the fact that this was what his life would be from now on._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Simon again snuggled into Kaylee's hair; it still wasn't easy being blind. He still smacked into things and not being able to really perform medicine was a thing that he didn't think would ever completely stop hurting, but at least now he could picture himself having a future. And at least he wasn't completely useless, he might not be able to perform surgery, but he still had a wealth of medical knowledge in his brain that he could use to help his crewmembers with.

It was late on Serenity; everyone had been asleep for three hours except for Simon. He walked the narrow metal halls of the ship and counted. Twenty-two steps from his bunk to the steps that led down to the infirmary, three stairs and turn right to the infirmary door. Sixty-eight steps from his bunk to the mess hall stairs. Six steps up to the door and five steps to the table. He had done this for the past five nights back and forth through the ship memorizing the steps that would lead him from one place to the other. He only did it at night when no one was around to see him, the only sounds he could hear were the gently humming of Serenity's engine, the soft sound of his socks on the floor and the quiet tapping of his cane on the grating. He counted under his breath to himself; one, two, three, four, five should be at the table. He reached out his hand smiled when he immediately found the back of a chair.

"_You're gettin' pretty good at that Doc." Simon jumped about a foot in the air at the sound of Mal's voice. _

"_Gorram it! I didn't know anybody else was up. You scared the hell out of me Captain."_

"_Sorry wasn't tryin to sneak up on ya. I just couldn't sleep, thought maybe some a that wine Kaylee makes would help." Mal replied chuckling a little at the expression on the Doc's face. Simon pulled out the chair he'd been holding and sat down at the table._

"_Ya want a glass?" Mal asked._

"_Sure thanks. Captain can you please stop calling me Doc?" Simon asked as he listened to Mal rise from his chair and walk to the cabinet to take down another glass._

"_Why don't you want me to call ya Doc?" Mal asked confused._

"_Its just I can't be a doctor anymore and I don't really need a reminder that I used to be one. It just brings up painful memories." Simon replied stiffly. _

"_Yeah I can do that, sorry I wasn't meanin to make ya feel bad. Just a habit callin ya Doc." Mal answered._

"_Thank you I appreciate it. Hey Mal think maybe you could tell me where you put the glass? I really don't want to spill the wine, it will probably eat right through the table." Simon asked trying to lighten the mood in the room with an attempt at a joke. _

"_Sure uh it's like half a foot in front of you at about two o'clock." Mal replied with a sad smile. After Miranda Mal had thought somewhat better of the Doctor, but still hadn't liked him much. Since being blinded however Mal was seeing a side to Simon that he not only respected but really liked as well. Sure the first month after it had happened Simon had been angry and withdrawn, but that was too be expected when something that life altering happens to you. But Simon had really surprised Mal with his acceptance of the situation and the braveness he showed at learning to deal with being blind. Add to that the fact that out of the three men who had been there that day Simon was the only one who had reacted quickly enough to save Zoë and her baby and as thanks for that action he had lost his sight forever. Simon reached out then and after only a second of fumbling found the glass without spilling even a drop of it. _

"_Uh Simon…" Mal cleared his throat not sure of how to continue. "Um Simon I just wanted to tell ya…" he trailed off again._

"_What? Do I have something in my teeth?" Simon asked._

"_No I just wanted to tell ya, well thank you actually for what you did for Zoë that day. I don't know if I ever got around to thanking you and I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate what you did for her and I'm really sorry that you got hurt so bad. I should have been the one to push her outta the way, I'm sorry I didn't get there in time." Mal cleared his throat uncomfortably after he was finished. He really wasn't good at emotional conversations or expressing his gratitude._

"_Um well I mean it wasn't like I knew I was going to be blinded when I pushed Zoë out of the way. I just didn't want her or the baby to get hurt. And I don't blame you for not getting there first. It wasn't something any of us could have seen coming, it was just a random thing that happened. Mal I actually wanted to talk to you about something and I guess now would be as good of a time as any to bring it up." Simon replied now feeling every bit as uncomfortable as Mal had a moment ago._

"_Ok Doc shoot. I mean Simon sorry."_

"_Well its just I can't be a doctor anymore. So I don't really have a job to pay my way on Serenity and I don't want to be a burden or anything."_

"_Simon you got hurt protecting one of my crew, I ain't gonna kick you off my boat especially with the way things are now. Plus you're sister is all kinds a helpful on jobs. I got my own psychic, sniper, assassin. You really think I wanna lose her skills? You paid her way on this boat for almost a year before she was well enough to work; I think she can do the same for you for a while. And if I kick you off I'm gonna lose not only my psychic assassin but my mechanic as well, plus Zoë would kill me real quick if I got rid of you. I'm sure once you've had some time to adjust we can find a job on the ship you can do without having to see, lets just take it one day at a time for now." Mal answered hoping his speech was enough to put Simon's mind at ease. _

_Mal hadn't even thought about the question of Simon remaining on the ship. After Miranda they had become a family and you didn't kick people out of a family just cause they got hurt. _

_Simon took a long drink of his wine and grimaced at the taste. "I- well thank you Mal I appreciate everything you said but please if things change let me kn…"_

_Simon was interrupted by a sharp cry of pain then. He heard Mal's chair scrape across the floor and then Mal said, "Zoë what's wrong?" Zoë cried out in pain again and began to fall to the floor, Mal reached her just in time to catch her._

"_Sir I think something is wrong with the baby." Zoë told him through gritted teeth._

_For the first time in a long while Simon completely forgot about his blindness. The doctor in him took over, "Mal get Zoë to the infirmary now and then go wake up River." He instructed and began to make his way to the infirmary. _

_Once Zoë was on the table Simon pulled up her shirt and felt her stomach, it was extremely hard and Simon realized she was having contractions. "Zoë how far apart are the pains?"_

"_I'm not sure Doc maybe two or three minutes I haven't really been timing them." Zoë replied sounding calmer now that the contraction had passed. Simon knew the infirmary so well that even without his sight he was able to find his stethoscope and the fetal monitor quickly. He placed the stethoscope on Zoë's belly and counted in his head for a full minute while Zoë tried to remain quiet. _

_Mal and River both entered the room then, surprised to find Simon hooking Zoë up to a monitor. _

"_River are you here?" Simon asked when he heard the sound of people entering the room._

"_I'm right here Simon what do you need me to do?" She asked._

"_River you're going to have to help me, read the scans for me, take some of Zoë's blood, and find the medicine I tell you to find. Can you do that?" Simon asked. _

_He had wanted River to help him because he knew she was almost as familiar with medical equipment and jargon as he was, but he hadn't thought until now about how much River hated the infirmary and medical equipment. The one thing he really didn't need was his sister having an episode. _

"_I can do it Simon don't worry. Just tell me what you want me to do." River replied confidently. They worked for the next hour to stop Zoë's premature labor. Simon used his sense of hearing and touch to examine Zoë and River provided him with an assistant who could do what his eyes could not. After another hour Zoë had not had any more contractions and her blood pressure as well as the baby's heart rate had returned to normal._

"_Zoë I think we got the labor stopped but you're going to have to keep taking the medicine I had River give you and you'll need to stay in bed for at least three weeks. After that the baby will be full term and we can deliver him or her safely." Simon told a very tired and relieved Zoë._

"_Is the baby alright?" she asked._

"_Everything seems fine, the scan River read to me is normal and the baby's heart rate is exactly where it should be. Premature labor just happens sometimes for no reason, but I think everything is going to be fine. I do want to keep a close eye on you for the next month."_

_Simon stopped talking and realized how ridiculous it sounded for a blind guy to use the term "keep an eye on you."_

_It was silent in the room for a few seconds until River began to giggle at the phrase Simon had used. Once the tension had been broken Simon, Zoë, and Mal began to laugh as well. They left Zoë to sleep in the infirmary that night so that she could remain on the fetal monitor. _

_River hugged her brother tightly as they left the room, "See not so broken after all." She told him before kissing his cheek and turning to head to her room. _

"_Well seems to me with River helping you can still be a doctor after all." Mal said as he clapped Simon on the back. "You did a real good job today Doc."_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Simon smiled at the memory of just a few days before when he had been shown how useful he still was, sight or no sight.

He stretched in bed and rolled towards Kaylee. He could tell from her steady breathing that she was still asleep and he took a moment to lightly trace the contours of her face with his fingertips. He loved knowing her face so well that he could picture it clearly in his mind whenever he wanted.

Sighing he rolled out of bed and reached to the chair where he usually left his pants hanging. When he didn't find them he smiled remembering the night before and how he and Kaylee had tossed their clothes around the room without thought to where they would end up. He climbed out of bed and made his way over to the dresser to pull out a new pair of pants, stubbing his toe on the bed as he did so. He muttered to himself and rubbed his throbbing toe.

A loud thump and Simon cursing quietly woke Kaylee from her sleep. She sat up and watched him hop on one foot while he rubbed his toe on the other foot. After he finished hopping and cursing he turned back to the dresser and began feeling through the drawer.

As much as Kaylee hated what had happened to Simon and even though she would give anything to fix his eyes sometimes Kaylee enjoyed being able to watch Simon without him knowing that she was watching. She smiled lustfully as his muscles stretched when he pulled his shirt over his head. As he turned to leave the room she realized that she hadn't spoken to him so he didn't know that she was awake. Kaylee climbed quickly from the bed and grabbed Simon by the shoulder, turning him around and pinning him against the wall all in one move. She kissed him hard crushing her lips against his and grabbed a handful of hair to force his head back further. When she pulled away a few minutes later Simon had a dopey look on his face and was breathing hard.

"Morning Kaylee. Um you sleep well?" he asked with a huge grin still plastered on his face.

"I slept great. You?" she replied grinning as she slipped her hand into his pants making him gasp and jump.

"Wow so what's gotten into you this morning? Not that I'm complaining or anything." He replied as he leaned over so that he could nibble at her ear lobe.

"Oh I was just thinking about how much I love you, that and I was just watchin ya get dressed and damn you are so sexy I just couldn't resist grabbin ya. Simon smiled and allowed Kaylee to lead him back toward their bed.

They were interrupted an hour later by Mal banging on their bedroom door. "Hey Doc you think maybe you can come talk to Zoë. She's goin crazy bein stuck in bed and she won't leave me alone, keeps givin me lists of stuff she wants me to get done. Ya gotta talk to her she's killin me." Mal whined through the thin door. Kaylee and Simon both laughed at the desperate tone of Mal's voice.

"I'll be right there Captain just give me a few minutes." Simon called out and then in a much quieter voice, "Kaylee where the hell did you throw my pants this time?"

"Zoë I know you hate staying in bed but bed rest is extremely important when a woman experience early labor." Simon said with a sigh. Zoë was not a woman who enjoyed being lazy and lying around with nothing to do. All she could think about were the many jobs she needed to get done around the ship.

"I know Simon but someone has to work on the books and make sure everyone gets paid, plus balance the food and fuel budget. Mal hates math if I let him work on the books we probably won't eat for the next month! If I can just get out of bed and up to the common room I can sit on the couch and work on the books." Zoë argued with more of a whine in her tone than Simon thought was possible coming from her.

"Zoë I don't want you climbing up and down your ladder, plus the point of bed rest is to rest, not to work. I want you staying calm and as still as possible." Simon replied.

"Fine I'll stay in my bunk, but I'm warning you now if Mal balances our budget we could find ourselves floating in the black without enough money for food or fuel."

"Are all the books on computer?" Simon asked.

"Well yeah of course, we don't really have room on the ship to be keeping paper ledgers around. Everything is on the computer in the common room." Zoë answered.

"Well the computer has an audio function. I can work on the books, I'm great at math I'm sure I can do everything in my head as long as the computer can read me the figures out loud." Simon mused almost more to himself than to Zoë.

"Are you sure Simon? I don't want you havin to do my job for me."

"I don't mind Zoë really, if I can do this then I'll have found a few things I can still do on the ship. It'll be nice having actual work to do today, I'm sick of having nothing to do." Simon assured her.

"Alright if you're sure. If you have any questions I'll have my comm. unit on down here so don't hesitate to ask." Zoë told him still sounding unsure.

"Ok I promise I'll ask if I have any questions and I'll be back later today to check the baby's heart rate again." Simon turned and started to walk out of the room. Unfortunately he wasn't familiar with Zoë's bunk and miscounted how many steps would lead to the ladder, causing him to walk straight into it. Zoë winced at the loud metallic twang that echoed through her bunk as Simon's head connected with the ladder.

"Oh gorram it!" Simon yelled angrily as he rubbed the already forming knot on his forehead. Forgetting that she wasn't supposed to get out of bed Zoë hurried over to Simon and led him back to her bed so that he could sit down.

"Here hold still Simon you're head is bleeding I'm gonna get a cloth." Zoë said as she hurried over to her sink to wet a clean cloth with water. She returned to the bed and began cleaning up the blood that had run down Simon's forehead.

"Zoë you're not supposed to be out of bed." Simon lectured through gritted teeth.

"I'm fine Simon, I'm sitting again and I'm not going to lay in bed and watch you bleed. Hold that cloth on there and it should stop bleeding in a minute, the cuts not very big."

"Sorry about getting blood all over your wash cloth. I hate this you know? I'm the doctor I'm supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around."

"Hey don't worry about it Simon you've taken care of all of us on this boat plenty, maybe you should stop worrying about it and let us take care of you for awhile." Zoë answered and placed a comforting hand on Simon's shoulder. "We all know how hard this has got to be for you Simon, you don't have to be tough and brave all the time, its ok to have a melt down now and then."

"I just- I've never had to be dependent on anyone before. I'm used to taking care of people, my patients and River especially. Now I can't even look after myself." Simon confessed.

It broke Zoë's heart to see how despondent and alone Simon looked at that moment. Zoë had been avoiding Simon since he'd been hurt. It had been her fault that this had happened to him and she wasn't sure how much he blamed her for it. Every time Zoë saw Simon hurt himself or looked into his scarred and blank eyes she felt her guilt strongly.

"Simon I'm so sorry for this. Its my fault you got hurt, I know you must be angry with me." Zoë said quickly, she like Mal knew that emotional conversations were not her strong suit.

"I'm not mad at you Zoë. It wasn't your fault at all. I would think you should be the one who's mad at me."

"Why the hell would I be mad at you Doc?" Zoë asked confused.

"Well it's my fault that Wash is gone. If I hadn't brought River on board none of this would have happened. Losing your husband is a lot worse than me losing my eyesight. I don't know how I can ever apologize for something like that."

"Simon I haven't ever blamed you for Wash's death. It was the Alliance that caused Miranda and it was because of Miranda that the Reavers were made. The Alliance was responsible for it not you and not River. I'm sorry if you ever thought I blamed either of you for what happened to Wash. He knew just as well as we all did that broadcasting that wave was dangerous. He was a good person he wanted people to know what happened on Miranda and I know wherever he is, he isn't sorry that he had to give up his life to help do that." Zoë cleared her throat and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Thank you Zoë I can't tell you how much it means to know that you don't hate me for that." Simon replied his voice thick and chocked with emotion as well. "Well guess I better go get to work on those books before Mal gets his hands on them huh? I'll try not to walk into anything this time." Simon stood up and walked to the ladder managing this time to find it right away.

"Simon?" Zoë called as he started to leave her bunk.

"What is it Zoë?"

"I just wanted to tell you one more thing. You saved my life that day and my child's as well. You're my hero I want you to know that. Also once I'm not pregnant anymore and can fight again I plan on going back to that go-se rock and then I'm going to make that hunzhang pay for what he did to you."

"I wish I could say that I'm a big enough man to not want revenge, but the thought of you taking the rutting bastard out is strangely comforting. Not just for what he did to me but what he tried to do to you and the baby as well, someone like that, well the verse is better off without him in it." Simon replied with an ironic smile.

Translations

Hunzhang: son of a bitch

Go-se: crap


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Simon worked all day on the ship's records. He hadn't realized how complicated running a ship was, but once he got the hang of it he was able to balance all the books and even find a few new ways to save money.

Later that evening once Simon had finished he lay back on the sofa and tried to relax for a few minutes before dinner started. He had almost dozed off when he suddenly felt someone watching him. He listened for a second and didn't hear any sign of someone else being in the room, but he knew that someone was staring at him.

"River? You're the only one on board who can be that quiet. What are you doing?" He asked.

"Watching."

"Watching what? Me take a nap? Don't think that could be very exciting." She moved to the couch then and sat down. He sat up and swung his legs down so that she would have room to sit next to him.

"So what are you up to mei-mei?" He asked as she leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"Not a very good psychic. Should have seen it coming." River replied after a few moments.

"Seen what coming?" He asked.

"You were hurt. She didn't see before it happened and now he'll never see again."

"Wait now you're blaming yourself for what happened?" Simon asked. This was the third time in as many days that someone had apologized for his blindness. He didn't blame anyone but the man who had thrown the bomb and didn't understand why the others couldn't do the same.

"River it wasn't your fault anymore than it was Zoë or Mal's. It was just something bad that happened. I don't want you blaming yourself. None of us expect you to stop all the bad things that might happen just because you're a reader. You might be a genius and a psychic but you're still only human. Ok?" Simon pulled River into a hug and felt her tears soak into his shirt.

"Wish I could fix you." She whispered.

"Me too." He replied not sure if he was wishing that she could fix him or that he could fix her.

Kaylee walked into the common room then to begin making dinner. When she saw the Tam siblings hugging on the couch she thought it was best to leave them alone and tried to sneak by without either of them noticing her. She should have realized that sneaking past a psychic and a blind man with really good hearing was probably not going to work.

River jumped away from Simon, ran over to Kaylee, and wrapped her in a large hug.

"You were right. He isn't mad!" She cried out happily.

"Well I told ya you were being a dummy. Simon ain't the kinda guy to be mad at someone for that." Kaylee replied laughing at River's relief.

Simon stood then and walked over to the two most important people in his life and wrapped them both in a hug.

"Of course I wouldn't be mad at River. Like Kaylee said, I'm not that kinda guy. But I am hungry after working on those books all day so how bout someone fix dinner, cause I couldn't cook before so I'd hate to think what my cooking would be like now that I can't see what I'm putting in the pot." Kaylee kissed Simon and then moved to the kitchen to start making dinner.

Dinner that night was a crazy affair. Zoë couldn't come to the table and was upset about having to eat alone in bed. That was when Kaylee decided that everyone should eat in Zoë's bunk with her. The entire crew crowded into the small bunk, sitting all over the bed and floor, even Jayne, although he grumbled about how they weren't at some gorram picnic. As crazy as dinner was it was also much happier than any they had had in a long time. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood and eating in Zoë's room made it seem almost like a special occasion. Kaylee had managed to buy fresh fruit the last time they were planet side, so she and River made up a fruit salad for dessert, the fresh food helped add to the air of a party.

It was while they were eating dessert that Simon cleared his throat and asked to talk to everyone.

"A lot of the crew has apologized to me over the last few days for what happened and I just want to tell everyone at once that I don't blame anyone on the ship. I'm sorry if I've been angry or withdrawn the last few months, but I was never once angry with anyone here. The only person I blame for me being blind is the guy who did it. I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for being so kind to me. And now that I thanked you all, can you please knock it off? I'm still Simon ok? You don't have to tip toe around me or worry that you're going to say the wrong thing. I'm still just Simon so can everyone please go back to treating me like that?"

Simon finished speaking and was for once glad to be blind. He didn't want to have to see the looks on everyone's faces after he finished spilling his guts out to them.

The room was quiet for almost an entire minute until Jayne snorted with laughter and said, "Yeah you really are the same guy you were before, whiny."

Everyone burst into laughter at this and then the conversation resumed without anyone else making a comment on Simon's speech.

Later that night Simon was again walking the ship, trying to memorize every hallway, corner, and stair on board Serenity. He was in the cargo bay walking from the ramp doors to the stairs when Jayne interrupted him.

"You countin how many steps there are in the cargo bay?" He asked. Simon could tell he'd been drinking because of the slight slur to his words.

"Yes how did you know that's what I was doing?" Simon asked. Jayne didn't reply right away and Simon listened as he began to lift weights, the bar making a rhythmic clanging as it went up and down. After a minute or so the noise stopped and Jayne cleared his throat.

"I been wantin to talk to ya Doc, but well don't rightly know how to say it, mainly cause I don't like ya much."

"Well thanks Jayne that means a lot to me." Simon replied sarcastically. "You're not going to apologize are you cause I already said at dinner I don't want to hear anymore apologies."

"Hell no I ain't gonna say sorry, you were the dumb ass that jumped in front of a nova bomb not me."

"Its not like I did it for fun."

"Yeah I know. Anyway what I wanted to tell ya was that I know what you're goin through right now." Jayne answered quickly obviously uncomfortable admitting this to the doctor.

"What do you mean you know what I'm going through?" Simon asked curiously, it wasn't often, or ever really that Jayne made deep personal statements.

"Bout twelve years ago when I was still living at home helping my ma run the farm I had an accident. I was out huntin and some dumbass from town took my horse for a deer. Shot her in the hind leg, she bolted, and I went flyin off right into a boulder. Hit my head real hard, was out cold for three days. When I woke up in the Doc's office I couldn't see nothing. Doc told me I had swellin in my head and it was getting in the way of my seeing. Don't remember exactly what the problem was."

"Swelling in the area of the brain that controls sight can cause blindness." Simon interrupted.

"Yeah somethin' like that. Anyway the Doc said there was a surgery that could fix it, but well we didn't have much money, so it took us almost a year to scrape up enough cash to pay for the trip into the core and for the surgery. I ain't never told anyone sides my family bout this but I thought maybe it'd help to know that someone on this ship knows what its like not being able to see. I guess I just wanted ya to know that I been there." Jayne trailed off then, he had thought about telling Simon for quite awhile but now that he had put it out there he really wasn't sure why he had decided to tell the prissy Doc.

"So you had the surgery and regained your sight?" Simon inquired.

"Yeah I mean it took a couple 'a months fore I could see like I did before the accident but eventually it all came back. I was pretty damn lucky. And well I thought maybe there was some surgery that could fix you up and I wanted ta tell ya that I'd loan ya some money for it if ya wanted. Hell I even know a guy who could probably get ya a fake ident. card so's we could take ya to the core. I just figure my family went through a lotta trouble to scrape together the cash to help me and maybe I could do the same for someone else."

Simon had no idea how to react to Jayne's offer or revelation they had never liked each other or even said kind words to each other.

"Wow Jayne that's really generous of you. I mean thanks I appreciate the offer, but I've done a lot of research and there really isn't anything that can help me. I found out about a lot of victims of nova bombs and when they go off in close range like that well the effects are permanent. But I really do appreciate your offer and you telling me about what happened to you. It does kind of make me feel better knowing there's someone else who knows what this is like."

"Well if ya figure somethin' out my offers on the table. And if ya want to talk sometime, I could use a new weight lifting spotter if you're interested. I remember how when ya can't see it gets awful lonely, sometimes feels like your just lost in the dark. So anyway if ya wanna talk bout it I'll be around. And if ya tell anyone bout this, blind or not, I'll kick your ruttin ass." Jayne stood up abruptly then and walked quickly to his bunk, leaving Simon to stand in shock at the merc.'s words.

Everyone on board Serenity noticed the change between Jayne and Simon. It wasn't that they could be called friends now, but over the next two weeks they began to treat each other with respect.

Even with the change between the two men, it was shocking for Mal to walk into the cargo bay one evening to find Jayne teaching Simon how to lift weights properly. Simon was lying on the weight bench and Jayne expertly showed Simon how to grip the bar. Mal was impressed with the way Jayne instructed Simon showing him everything from bench presses to lifting free weights properly. Each time Jayne showed him a new exercise he seemed very aware of the fact that Simon couldn't see what he was demonstrating. He explained everything in detail and helped Simon feel the bar to know where the grips were for the different lifting techniques.

Mal didn't know what to think of the new friendship developing between the two men, he had thought for sure they would never even be able to stand each other let alone hang out together.

"Well hell." Mal thought. "Everyone's getting along, next thing you know one of my plans is going to go right and I won't get shot or stabbed during a job." Chuckling to himself Mal headed towards his bunk without interrupting the men as they worked out


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Simon? Simon where are you?" Inarra called out as she ran down the hallway of Serenity.

"In the cargo hold." Simon replied with a grunt as he let the weights come down to rest, Jayne helping to guide the bar back to its correct spot.

"Good set Simon." Jayne complimented. It still made Simon feel strange to have Jayne being kind to him, but he had to admit that it was nice having another guy as a friend on Serenity. He could only hang out with his sister and girlfriend for so long without feeling the need to get away from all the estrogen.

"Simon we need you now!" Inarra called again from almost directly above him.

"What's the matter Inarra?" He asked feeling a bit annoyed about getting his workout interrupted.

"Zoe's water just broke and she's having contractions. Kaylee and River are helping her to the infirmary right now." Inarra explained quickly.

"Ok tell River to get Zoe hooked up to the fetal monitor and check her blood pressure, she knows how to do that. I'm going to go get cleaned up and changed and then I'll be down there." Simon jumped up, grabbed his cane, and began to make his way to his bunk as quickly as he could.

Six hours later Simon was beginning to get worried. Zoe wasn't progressing and the baby's heart rate had dropped some.

"Zoe I'm going to give you some medicine that should help you dilate, but if it doesn't start working within the next hour or so I think we need to consider doing a C-Section." Simon told her gently.

"Uh Doc, not to doubt ya or anything, but you really think you should be cuttin into people when ya can't see what it is your cuttin'?" Mal asked.

"Of course not, you really think I would perform surgery on some one now that I'm blind? I may be a good doctor, but I'm not that good."

"So if you ain't gonna be doin the surgery who is?" Zoe asked as she breathed heavily through a contraction.

"Look lets not worry about that right now ok? I want to try this medicine first; hopefully we can deliver Zoe naturally. A Cesarean is our last option." Simon replied and turned to River to give her the medication instructions.

The next hour passed slowly as everyone waited anxiously to see if the medicine would do its job.

"Well Doc what do ya think?" Mal called from the hallway as Simon examined Zoe.

"Zoe you haven't dilated anymore than you were an hour ago and the baby's heart rate has dropped more. It's not dangerously low yet, but I'd rather deliver the baby before we get to that point." Simon told Zoe as he replaced the sheet over her knees and allowed the others to come back into the room.

"Simon what do we do now?" Zoe asked with a slight tremble to her voice. Simon couldn't remember ever hearing fear in Zoe's voice before.

"We need to do a C-Section and get the baby out, as soon as possible." Simon answered distractedly. In his head he was already visualizing the surgery and trying to decide how best to explain it to someone who had never performed it before.

"River?" Simon called. "I know you have read about C-Sections do you think you can do this if I walk you through it?"

River stepped into the infirmary, wanting so much to be able to help her brother. But as soon as she stepped into the room the medicinal smell and bright lights of the operating table began to bring back a horde of painful memories. She took a deep breath and tried to push the memories back, it was working for a moment until Simon pulled out the tray that contained his surgical equipment. One glance at the scalpel and River was taken back to the Academy. She could hear Dr. Mathias right next to her ear whispering,

"Hold still River, it will only hurt for a minute. Remember what good work we're doing for the Alliance."

River screamed and put her hands over her ears, trying desperately to block out the voices invading her head.

"No can't cut her it'll break her and then she won't be able to find her way home!"

Simon sighed loudly in frustration, if there was ever a time he didn't need his sister having an episode it was now.

"Jayne grab River before she knocks something over, Mal get a smoother and dope River up, we don't have time to try and calm her down right now." Simon shouted over River's yelling and Zoe's screaming as another contraction hit her. Simon heard Jayne grunt as he did his best to hold the thrashing girl still and heard Mal opening drawers looking for a smoother.

"First drawer to the right of the sink." Simon instructed Mal. A minute later the room became much quieter as the smoother kicked in and River became unconscious.

"Ok Mal I'm going to need you to do the surgery since River can't. You think you can handle that?" Simon asked.

"I guess if I gotta I can do it. But I ain't ever operated on anyone before." Mal said uncertainly as he stepped up beside Simon.

"Don't worry I'm going to be right here telling you what to do. It's not that complicated a surgery. First you need to go over and scrub up and put on some sterile gloves. Inarra?" Simon called towards the hallway.

"I'm here Simon what can I do to help?" Inarra asked uncertainly.

"I want you to go over to the medicine cabinet and find the medicines that I call out to you. Then I'm going to need you to administer them to Zoe's i.v. Think you can do that?" Simon asked the Companion.

"I can do it, just tell me what you need."

Fifteen minutes later Zoe was sedated and prepped for surgery. If Simon had been able to do the surgery himself he would have kept Zoe awake and numbed up, but Simon figured Mal didn't need the worry of having a patient who may move while he was cutting. Simon listened to Mal's shaky breathing as he prepared to make the first incision that Simon had described to him.

"Mal take a deep breath and try to relax before you make the incision. Remember what I told you, you don't want to press too hard, but you have to press hard enough to go through the muscle. You ready?"

"Um yeah, I think so." Mal replied uncertainly.

"Ok I made the cut, and there's lots a blood." Mal said a moment later.

"That's fine there should be, Inarra suction off the blood like I told you ok?" Simon instructed. He waited for the sound of the suction device to stop.

"Mal now you're going to put the forceps in like I told you and open up the incision about four inches wide."

"Um… yeah ok, got it, you sure I ain't hurtin her?" Mal asked in a shaky voice.

"Her heart rate is fine, don't worry. You holding the forceps? Simon asked.

"Yeah, how my supposed to get the baby out if I'm holdin these things?"

"You're not going to. I am." Simon replied.

It was only a minute later that Simon was holding a screaming baby in his arms.

"It's a girl!" Inarra called excitedly.

"Mal you cut the cord and Inarra how about you get the new baby cleaned up?"

It was over an hour later when Simon was finally able to collapse on the couch outside the infirmary and only a second later when Mal sat down heavily beside him.

"Damn Doc I don't know how you could do that everyday! I been in the war, been tortured, and held hostage but I ain't never done anything as scary as that before today."

"Well going to medical school is probably a good way to prepare for doing surgery, but I know what you mean, it is scary. You did great Mal, she and the baby are both fine." Simon assured the Captain.

"You need me for anything else Doc, cause if ya don't I think I'm gonna go to my bunk, get drunk, throw up and pass out."

"I think its fine Mal, Zoe will be asleep for another hour at least and Kaylee is taking care of the baby. Plus if you're going to vomit I'd rather you not do it all over my infirmary."

After Mal left the couch Simon lay down and took a deep breath. He had been very uncertain whether or not he could really walk someone through the surgery and felt as if he'd been holding his breath for the last few hours. Simon awoke to feel Kaylee running her fingers through his hair.

"Hey sorry bao-bei didn't mean to fall asleep. The baby ok?" He asked sleepily.

"She's good, sleepin in the bassinet right next to her momma. Everything shiny with Zoe?"

"I think she'll be fine. I'm going to have her on antibiotics for awhile just to make sure she doesn't get an infection, but Mal did a great job."

"Honey why don't you go lay down for a bit, ya look exhausted. I can stay here and watch Zoe and the baby." Kaylee said as she leaned over to kiss him.

"I should go check on River first, she'll be waking up soon." Simon answered. "Come get me when Zoe wakes up alright?"

"I will, you did real good today Simon." Kaylee added with another kiss.

Simon walked quietly into River's room, not wanting to wake her if she was still asleep.

"Simon" River said quietly.

"Hey mei-mei, how are you?" Simon asked as he sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Sorry, she let you down again." River whimpered.

"Mei-mei you didn't let me down, I feel like I let you down. I'm sorry I asked you to do something that would make you so upset. You've been so much better since Miranda, I'd hate to think I did anything to set you back." Simon muttered regretfully.

"No permanent damage, she'll be fine." River assured, but the quaver in her voice told Simon that she was still upset.

"Hey didn't we have a talk about you speaking in the third person? Remember no more hiding, no more pretending that you aren't River. It's hard to face what happened at the Academy I know, but you can do it. I don't want you slipping back into those old defense mechanisms. Especially because of something I tried to make you do."

"Sorry, the lecture has hit its mark. I'll try not to do it anymore." River replied sounding more like the bratty sister Simon loved so much.

"Good, that's better." Simon replied and leaned over to hug her.

"Is there a baby?" River asked.

"Yes a girl, she's down in the infirmary with Kaylee."

River jumped up so quickly that she nearly knocked Simon out of the bed.

"I'm an Aunt River now!" She proclaimed excitedly.

"Well not technically an Aunt, but…" Simon began to reply but was cut off when River smacked him on the back of the head.

"We're family now Simon, all of us. I'm Aunt River." She told him stubbornly before skipping out of her bunk to go meet her new niece.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Is the baby alright?" Zoe asked in a slurred voice as she tried to wake up from the anesthesia.

"Hey there Zo. Yep, she's doin fine and looks just like her momma." Mal replied from his chair next to the infirmary bed. He had fully intended on getting puking drunk, but had decided to remain at Zoe's bedside until she woke up and then get puking drunk.

"She? I have a girl?" Zoe asked as she tried to sit up and see the sleeping bundle cradled in the Captain's arms.

Mal stood up and handed the tiny girl to her mother. "So ya got a name picked out for her or do I get ta name her? Cause ya know Mallory is a great girl's name."

"And Mal just happens to be a nickname for Mallory, ain't that a coincidence?" Zoe asked with a sarcastic smirk on her face.

"Now that is strange I hadn't even thought a that." Mal answered while trying to make his face look as innocent as possible.

"Sorry but I already got a name picked out for her. Alexandra, after Wash's mother."

"You ain't goin to name her after Wash himself?" Mal asked.

"Hell no Sir. I loved my husband, but I ain't gonna force any child of mine to go through life with the name Hoban."

Mal laughed at this, "Ya know I have a feelin Wash would probably agree with ya on that point."

"Look you ok with little Alex there if I go get the Doc? He wanted to check on ya when you woke up." Mal asked as he moved to leave the infirmary.

"We're fine Captain." Zoe answered distractedly; she didn't even glance up at him, her entire being seemed focused on studying her new daughter.

The next week was a blur for everyone as they struggled to adapt to having an infant on board. Because of the surgery Zoe wasn't able to get around quickly and needed quite a bit of help caring for the little girl. Between trying to learn how to care for a newborn and the crying that was keeping them all up at night the entire crew was sleep deprived and cranky.

It was after River knocked Jayne unconscious for taking the last protein roll, Zoe decided maybe the crew could use a break.

"What da ya mean maternity leave? What in the ruttin hell is maternity leave anyway?" Mal asked after Zoe had made her proposition to him.

"It means I'm gonna go home for a few weeks and stay with my folks. That way I can get used to being a new mother and the crew can have a break from the baby. Plus my mom wants to see the baby she's waved me every day for the past week." Zoe replied.

"Yeah but your folks live about as far out on the Rim as you can possibly get, how do ya think we're gonna be able to afford the fuel to get ya there?"

"Well if we can supply the fuel to get out there my father has a big delivery he needs made to Boros. He'll pay for the fuel and a delivery fee, so you get a job out of the deal as well Sir." Zoe knew Mal well enough that he couldn't turn down the offer of a legitimate job, especially when his best friend was asking for a favor at the same time.

"Well how long are ya plannin on stayin on Artemis with your folks?" Mal asked. He didn't want to be without his first mate for too long.

"I thought maybe a month or so. That way by the time I get back Alex will be a little older and on more of a schedule, it will be easier on the everyone that way."

"Zo you don't have ta leave ya know. We can all help with the lil'un and…"

"Sir I haven't been home since Wash died, it- well it might be nice to be with my mom for awhile." Zoe interrupted.

"Alright I'll tell River to set in a course for Artemis." Mal gave in with a sigh.

It took Serenity almost nine days to reach the moon where Zoe's parents had retired. Her folks were independents through and through and once they had decided to stop living in the Black and settle down they had picked a settlement as far from Alliance control as they could find. Artemis was on the very edge of the Rim, even further out than Miranda had been and was a scary planet for any vessel to try and get to. There were no terraformed planets close to Artemis and to reach it, a ship had to fly for over a week with no place to refuel or even land if there were engine problems.

Serenity was able to make the trip to Artemis smoothly although they were desperately low on fuel by the time they arrived. The entire crew enjoyed being planet side for a few days while they refueled and loaded the cargo that Zoe's father was having them deliver to Boros. Everyone gave Zoe a heartfelt good bye as they left, although more than a few of the crew were excited about the idea of sleeping through the night without a crying baby to wake them up.

"Captain I need you on the bridge." River called calmly through the intercom system later that night.

Mal sighed and stood up from the card game he was currently involved in with Kaylee and Inara.

"Oh well them girls was takin me for all I had anyway." He thought as he headed towards the bridge.

When he walked in he found River sitting straight up in the pilot's chair. Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted to the side. It was a look Mal knew well and one he didn't like. When River sat like that it meant she was reading something and when River was reading it usually meant things were about to go pear shaped.

"What's up lil-albatross? You readin something? Maybe something good?" He asked hopefully.

His hopes for anything good were dashed when River opened her eyes and turned to look at him. Her face was even paler than usual and there were tears in her eyes.

"Reavers coming for us." She whispered.

XXXXXXXXX

Wow I hate when people leave stories at cliffhangers and now here I am doing it! But this just seemed like the spot where the chapter should end.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

River slammed her hand down on the intercom suddenly.

"Kaylee we have to go to full burn now!" River yelled as she took the ship off of autopilot and grabbed the controls.

"River what's going on?" Mal asked again.

"Reavers, coming soon, but they won't get to us." River replied distractedly.

"So if they ain't gonna get to us, why are we going to full burn. I don't know if we got the fuel to make it to Boros if ya go to full burn."

"If they get near us, they'll hurt us. Unstable design, a flaw in the system. We'll be lost in the Black, Simon will have to lead." River muttered under her breath.

Mal knew her well enough now to know that she was getting close to having an episode, which was not good if Reavers were chasing them.

"Alright there lil-albatross. You're doin good, just keep us flyin dong-ma?" Mal assured her.

"Too late. They're here." River whimpered. Mal looked up to see a Reaver ship fly straight over top of Serenity and turn quickly so that the two ships were almost nose-to-nose. River pushed Mal out of the way as she moved behind him to push the button that would engage the safety shield over Serenity. As soon as she pushed it large metal shields slammed shut over the windows of the bridge. Mal could hear the clanging as the rest of the windows in Serenity were covered in a similar fashion.

"River don't ya think it might be helpful if we could see the ship that's about to attack us?" Mal yelled as she jumped back into the pilot's chair.

"Told you they won't get to us. Have to protect us from the flaw in the design." River answered.

"What flaw?" Mal asked. Before River could answer him Mal heard the sound of a huge explosion and then was thrown backwards as Serenity was hit by the shock wave.

"Gorram it! What the hell was that?" Jayne yelled as he stumbled into the bridge.

"Reaver ship. Problem in the system, they won't be able to hurt anyone now." River explained.

"You tellin me that explosion were the Reaver ship lil-albatross?" Mal asked as he picked himself up off the floor. It was right about then that Mal noticed he couldn't hear the familiar hum of Serenity's engine.

"Flaw in the design. Didn't have core containment. A ship can only fly for so long without containment, then the engine fights back." River murmured as she pushed a series of buttons on the console.

Mal left the bridge and headed down to the engine room to try and find out why the engines weren't on. The engine room was a mess when he entered but Mal had seen it worse before and had faith that Kaylee could fix it. The only part of Kaylee he could see were her legs sticking out from under the engine, he could hear her cursing quietly in Chinese to herself.

"Kaylee, how's my engine looking?" Mal asked making Kaylee jump and bang her head.

"What hit us Cap'n any idea?" Kaylee called out to him.

"Reaver ship, came up in front of us and then exploded. We got hit by the shock wave." Mal explained.

"We got hit by more than the shock wave, Cap'n. Kaylee said as she slid out from under the engine." Musta been shrapnel from the ship, but Serenity's got somethin stuck in her port side thruster." Kaylee explained.

"Can ya fix it?" Mal asked.

"Hope so. I won't know what we got till I can get outside and take a look at the thrusters." Kaylee explained. "Can ya help me get suited up, so's I can get out there and see bout fixin our girl?"

Mal helped Kaylee and Jayne into suits and was ready to open the cargo bay to the airlock when River came barreling into the bay. Simon and Inara followed shortly after.

"Don't open the door!" She yelled and forcefully pushed Mal away from the controls to the cargo bay door.

"What's the problem, crazy?" Jayne asked, snickering slightly at Mal being pushed out of the way by the much smaller girl.

"There's a breach! No air if you open the door."

"What breach? The hull is fine, if we had a breach we'd be dead already." Mal explained.

"Windows are gone, blown out. We can't open the safety shields."

"So your tellin' me that we can't get outside cause we can't take down the shields and Kaylee your tellin' me we can't get the engine powered up without going outside?"

Both girls' nodded, identical expressions of worry crossing their faces.

" Yeah um, that's a problem. Alright Kaylee you get to the engine room and see if there's anything you can do to get us some power without us havin' to go outside." Mal instructed.

Mal called them all into the dining room later that night after Kaylee had finally emerged from the engine room.

"So what ya get figured out Kaylee?" He asked once everyone was seated.

"Its pretty bad. The port thruster ain't movin at all, but I was able to get the starboard thruster workin a little."

"And in Captain Dummy speak that means what for us exactly?"

"We can get auto-pilot on and keep us on course. But there's a problem with that. I'm gonna have to shut down just about everything to get enough power to the engine." Kaylee explained slowly.

"What exactly do you have to shut down?" Inara asked.

"Everything 'kept what we absolutely need. I can keep life support, heat, and navigation on but that's it. Electricity, air filters, the cortex, everything else will have to be off if we're gonna have enough power to get anywhere. Even doin' that its gonna be slow going, I'd say it'll take us almost two weeks to get to Fulton and that's the closest planet with terraforming."

"Our velocity at twelve percent starboard thrust will be enough to get us to Fulton in thirteen days, six hours, and approximately forty-three minutes." River added helpfully.

"Kaylee there any other way you can think of to get us there?" Mal asked.

"No, this is the best we can do with what we got."

"Alright, its gonna get mighty dark in here, with the safety shields coverin the windows. Jayne and Kaylee you two gather up any flashlights and batteries that we got. Anybody have any candles?"

"I do I'll go get them." Inara answered.

"Alright well that's something. River I want you up on the bridge, when Kaylee shuts everything down, I need you to make sure we're still on course and got navigation. We can't see out the windows so we better hope the nav. is workin' case the proximity alert goes off." Mal instructed and watched as everyone left to follow his orders.

"Anything you need me to do Captain?" Simon asked after everyone besides the two men had left the table.

"Not yet, but I gotta feelin once them flashlights and candles are dead, we're gonna be need your help quite a bit."

"So I guess it's literally gonna be the blind leading the blind in a few days then huh?" Simon asked with a chuckle.

"Yep guess it is somethin' like that."

The first two days passed slowly but without incident. With no electricity they couldn't listen to music or watch vids from the cortex and because they had to try and save what little light they did have, the crew spent most of their time sitting in darkness.

"So then she showed up three months later with a hamster that she named Simon Jr. in honor of me." The entire crew broke up into laughter around the dinner table as Simon finished his story.

Suddenly everyone's laughter cut off at once and Kaylee let out a small whimper.

"What? What's the matter?" Simon asked.

"The last candle just went out." Kaylee replied and Simon felt her hand fumble on the table looking for his. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Where the flashlights at?" Jayne asked.

"We got one in the engine room and one on the bridge. But we need ta save em in case we have any problems that Kaylee needs to work on." Mal explained.

"Guess we're just gonna have to find ways to amuse ourselves in the dark for ten days huh?" Mal said. Everyone grew quiet and then began to giggle.

"So what exactly did you have in mind Mal?" Inara asked teasingly.

"Hey that wasn't what I meant, less you're feelin generous Inara, cause ya know my bunk's awful comfy."

"Hmm… you forget I've been in your bunk Mal. As tempting as that offer is I think I'll stay in Zoe's bunk. But if I feel the need to contract some infectious disease, you're bunk will be my first stop."

"So anyway thinkin its best we all just head to bed, consider we ain't got nothin else to do." Mal replied trying to reclaim a little of his Captain authority, but figuring it was probably a lost cause.

"Hell Mal it's like four hours before night cycle starts, I'm goin ta work out." Jayne muttered and got up causing his chair to squeal loudly and causing Kaylee to jump. Simon squeezed her hand reassuringly again.

"Inara you want some help getting' to Zoe's bunk? I mean this is my ship I know it pretty well think I can probably help ya out."

"Thank you Mal that would be helpful." Inara replied.

"River you need any help getting to your room?" Simon asked.

"No found it fine." River called from the other end of the ship where the passenger bunks were.

"How'd she get there so quick?" Mal asked.

"Well as often as she walks the ship at night, it's not surprising that she has the layout memorized even in the dark." Simon replied and stood up without letting go of Kaylee's hand.

"Come on bao-bei how about we head to our room?" He asked Kaylee quietly.

"Alright Simon." She whispered. Everyone else stood up then and began to make their ways to their bunks.

It was only a few seconds before Simon heard a loud thump and Mal cursing loudly.

"Captain you all right?" He called out.

"Um yeah, cept I'm all turned around, can't find the door, and I smacked my head on something." Mal answered.

"Mal if you had no idea where you were going then why did you tell me to follow you?" Inara asked.

"Alright stay here at the table Kaylee, I'll be back in a minute." Simon whispered and began to walk towards the sound of the Captain's cursing. Simon found Mal only a foot or so from the door that led towards the crew quarters.

"Ok Captain, you're pointing the right way, three steps up and then it's about sixteen steps to your bunk and Inara it's about thirteen steps to Zoe's bunk." Simon said as he turned Mal towards the direction of the doorway.

"Uh thanks Simon. Think I got it from here."

Simon pulled Kaylee up from the table and held her hand to guide her towards their room. After they had been in their room for five minutes or so Simon noticed that Kaylee had barely said a word since the candle had died.

"You alright bao-bei, you're awfully quiet." Simon asked. Kaylee didn't answer and when Simon reached for her he was surprised to find her body was shaking with silent sobs.

"Hey Kaylee what's the matter? You worried about the ship? Because we'll get to Fulton and you'll get Serenity all fixed up, you always do. It's going to be fine."

Kaylee sighed loudly and turned over so that she was facing Simon.

"Its nothin' Simon, don't worry about it." Kaylee said through her sniffles.

"Tell me bao-bei. I hate hearing you cry."

"I'm embarrassed to tell ya."

"Hey as many stupid things as I've said to you in the past you can tell me anything." Simon said with a chuckle.

"Its just, well, I'm scared of the dark. When I was six my brother locked me in the cellar, forgot about me, and went fishing. I was stuck down there for two hours fore my ma got home and found me. Ever since then I hated the dark, been scared of it. See it's embarrassing, specially telling you."

"Why cause I'm blind?"

"No cause you're my boyfriend and I don't want ya thinkin' of me as a silly little girl who's scared of the boogeyman in the dark."

"Kaylee I would never think that about you. Everyone has some small thing they're afraid of. Being scared of the dark is yours, that's not embarrassing."

"So what's yours?" Kaylee asked sounding more like her usual cheerful self.

"Mine?"

"You said everyone's got a weird thing they're afraid of. So what's yours?"

"Well I just meant that you know most people have a phobia of something. I was just speaking in general terms."

"Come on I know you got one! I told you mine, I wanna know yours. Please?"

It was silent in the bedroom for over a minute.

"Jellyfish." Simon finally muttered.

"Huh? Like jellyfish in the ocean jellyfish?" Kaylee asked giggling.

"Well jellyfish stings are supposed to be extremely painful and some of them can be deadly. I just always had a fear of jellyfish." Simon explained trying to make jellyfish sound much more frightening than they actually were.

"So is that why you wouldn't go swimmin with everyone that day we was at the beach on Poseidon?"

"Well yeah." Simon admitted. Kaylee erupted into a fit of giggles then. Simon felt that his only defense at this point was to tickle Kaylee. Which he did making her squeal and thrash on the bed. Once Kaylee realized she wasn't going to be able to break free of Simon's surprisingly strong grip, she did the only thing she could thing of to stop the tickling. She kissed Simon long and hard while unbuttoning his pants at the same time.

"Ah that's cheating bao-bei." He whispered.

"Well if ya don't like the way I cheat I can always stop." Kaylee whispered.

"Don't you dare!"

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Translations

Dong-ma: understand

Bao-bei: sweetheart


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The crew found out soon that ten days of sitting around in the pitch black with nothing to entertain them but the sound of each other's voices was in a lot of ways worse than the times when they were all in mortal danger.

"This is almost worse than Niska torturin me. Least then I had somethin to focus my mind on." Mal thought glumly.

"I'm thinkin of a number tween one and a thousand." Jayne said.

"Six hundred forty-five point three two eight six." River replied sounding bored.

"I'm thinkin' maybe this ain't the best game to be playin with a mind reader." Jayne grumbled.

"Yeah, I'm thinkin' this ain't the best game to be playin in general." Mal muttered.

"Well you got any bright ideas for somethin' we could do instead?" Jayne countered.

"Its bout lunch time, how's bout we get somethin' ta eat? That'd take up a good hour."

"Yum more cold, uncooked protein." River complained.

"Alright so it'll only take up half an hour." Mal conceded as they all stood up and slowly began to make their way to the kitchen in the darkness.

Simon thought that they must look really funny. He could so clearly picture what they must look like. Everyone walking single file, following a blind guy, while trying to not walk into anything. After some grumbling and shuffling, everyone was able to find a seat and Simon walked into the kitchen to fix everyone lunch. He couldn't believe how much things had changed since the lights had been shut down. He had gone from being the guy who needed taken care of to the guy who was taking care of everyone else. After a few minutes of pulling out various types of protein that could be eaten cold, he had fixed a lunch that was at least edible and considering his cooking skills he thought that was impressive. No one was overly anxious to be eating another meal of bland uncooked mush but everyone, even Jayne, was polite enough to thank Simon for his efforts.

"River how much longer till we get to Fulton?" Mal asked through a mouth full of protein.

"Eighteen hours, twenty-six minutes, and approximately four point five seconds."

"Less than a day to go folks, once we set down we can open the shields and we'll all be able ta get outta this dark… well cept you Simon, sorry."

"No problem." Simon replied.

"So what should we do now?" Kaylee asked once they had finished eating.

"How bout we play the game where no one asks the question 'what should we do now' for the next eighteen hours. I'm gonna go lift." Jayne grumbled and stomped out of the kitchen.

"Tzao-gao! Jayne really don't handle boredom well does he?" Mal commented. Simon hadn't really considered Jayne's bad mood until Mal pointed it out.

"You know I think I'm gonna go see if Jayne needs a spotter. Will you all be alright?" Simon asked.

"We're fine Simon, go talk to Jayne he could use an understanding ear." River answered for everyone. Even if he hadn't known his way to the cargo bay he could have found it easily by simply following the loud clanking of Jayne's weights.

"Hey Jayne you want a spotter?" Simon asked as he came up behind the merc.

"Guess so." Jayne muttered without pausing.

"So um you ok Jayne?" Simon asked stiffly. He and Jayne had begun to form a friendship but Simon wasn't really sure that they were to the point where they could actually talk seriously.

"Fine why ya ask?"

"I was just thinking that this probably brings back a lot of bad memories for you and well you told me that if I ever need to talk to someone I could come to you. I just wanted you to know the offer goes both ways."

Jayne was quiet for so long that Simon began to think he had made the merc angry and was about to get his pi-gu kicked.

Finally Jayne cleared his throat and replied, "Um thanks Doc, that's nice a ya. But I don't feel much like talkin I just wanna get to Fulton and get off this boat for a while. Feel like I can't breath in here."

"Ok well if you change your mind, I'm around." Simon replied as he moved around to take his spot on the bench.

The last five hours seemed to be the worst for everyone. The minutes drug by like hours and everyone was irritated by the simple sound of anyone else's voice. Finally the proximity alarm sound through the ship telling all of them that Fulton was near. River quickly made her way to the bridge and was able to make a safe, although somewhat bumpy landing on the surface. Everyone gathered in the cargo bay, eagerly waiting for River to disengage the safety shields.

"Alright everyone before River opens the ship make sure to close your eyes. You haven't been exposed to any light for almost two weeks, so it is going to take a little while for your eyes to adjust." Simon instructed.

The ship began to bang loudly as each safety shield slid away from the windows and back into place.

"Oh gorram that's bright!" Mal exclaimed.

"Captain I told you to close your eyes." Simon lectured.

"They are closed, it's still bright." Mal complained.

Simon breathed in deeply as the cargo bay opened and cool fresh air swept over him. Without the air circulators on the air in Serenity had gotten almost unbearably stale and pungent.

"Oh God, Simon you are so lucky to be blind right now!" Mal shrieked.

"Why what's wrong?" Simon asked.

"Jayne ain't wearin nothin but underwear! Holey underwear with palm trees on them! Jayne how long have you been wearin nothing but underwear?"

"I don't know, bout a day or so." Jayne replied.

Mal made an audible gagging sound.

"Fore that I was naked, but gets a little cold in here ya know."

Mal gagged again. "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

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Translations

Tzao-gao: Damn it

Pi-gu: butt


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Fulton was a planet used almost exclusively for mining. There were very few settlements and most of them consisted of underground mining operations and camps for the miners. At least that was what River informed the crew as they all stood around in the bright sunlight. No one else knew anything about the planet but because River was a walking encyclopedia they didn't doubt her.

"So lil-albatross you tellin me there ain't no place we can get parts for Serenity if we need em?" Mal asked.

"Closest settlement is sixty miles south. Silent Mountain Mine. Usually supports a crew of twenty to thirty men." River answered.

"So not likely they're gonna have parts for a Firefly. Well we best hope Miss Kaylee can fix her without needin new parts."

"Gettin to work on her now Cap'n." Kaylee called cheerfully as she hurried toward the port side thruster with her toolbox.

It made Simon happy to hear the light cheerful tone back in Kaylee's voice. He was proud of how bravely she had handled the ten days of darkness she'd been forced to endure, but this was the first time in over a week that he had heard joy in her voice.

No one was overly anxious to be back inside the ship for a while so the entire crew settled down outside of Serenity to wait while Kaylee worked. River wandered over to her brother and sat down beside him.

"Think I found a way to be helpful Simon." River whispered in his ear as if she were divulging an important secret.

"Other than being able to land us without being able to see where you're landing or a fully functioning navigation system? How much more helpful do you think you need to be mei-mei?" He asked with a laugh.

"No, found a way to be helpful to you." She insisted.

"Ok well how are you going to help me?"

"Not time to tell yet. Haven't worked out all the steps and I don't want you to tear off the wrapping paper if the box turns out to be empty."

Simon sighed. River had been much more coherent since Miranda but it was still frustrating to try and work through her riddles and metaphors.

"Well whenever you're ready to tell me about it, I'll be here." Simon replied and leaned over to wrap River in a hug.

River began to hug him back but suddenly stiffened in his arms and jumped to her feet.

"No!" She screamed and ran away from him.

"Wait River come back." Simon called out.

"I got her Doc." Mal assured Simon as he followed River around to the other side of Serenity.

It was only a few seconds after Mal and River had disappeared from view that Simon heard Kaylee scream and then the resounding pops of two separate guns being fired. After the gunshots he could hear River screaming and Mal yelling for him.

Without a word between the two men Jayne quickly grabbed Simon's shoulder and led him around to where Mal was shouting.

"Lao-tyen!" Jayne yelled when he came in to view.

"Kaylee! Mei-mei no!" Inara screamed from behind Simon and Jayne.

"What happened to Kaylee? Someone tell me now!" Simon yelled.

"Doc, she's hurt bad. Some hun-dan shot her." Mal explained. "Jayne help me get her to the infirmary."

"What the hell happened Mal thought there weren't no one out here?" Jayne asked as he and Mal carried Kaylee gently towards the infirmary.

"I don't know. All I saw was him shoot Kaylee and then take aim at River, but she was too quick, shot him straight between the eyes."

The crew reached the infirmary then and River moved to hook Kaylee up to the heart monitor and other equipment that she knew Simon would need. Everyone was talking at once, Jayne was cursing about the coward that would shoot an unarmed girl, Inara and Mal were both questioning Simon, and River was babbling something that Simon didn't have time to try and decipher.

"Bizui everyone please!" Simon yelled, immediately bringing the room to silence except for the beeping of the heart monitor. As soon as Simon could hear the rhythm of Kaylee's heart beat he knew it was bad. Not only was her heart beating much too slowly, but it was beginning to miss beats as well.

"Mal where's the wound exactly?" Simon asked.

"Right in the middle of her chest Doc." Mal replied quietly.

Simon felt around for a second before he found the bullet hole and then swore under his breath.

"Oh please no!" He cried after he had felt into the wound with his finger. He fell onto Kaylee and began to cry loudly.

"What Doc? Talk to me, tell me what I gotta do." Mal grabbed Simon by the shoulders and shook him roughly when Simon refused to respond to his questions.

"Come on Simon Kaylee needs us ya can't fall apart now!" Mal yelled into Simon's face.

"The bullet hit the right ventricle." Simon whispered.

"Alright, I get that's bad, what do we need to do ta save her?" Mal questioned.

"Nothing."

"What do you mean nothing? You son of a bitch, you love her and you're tellin' me you're gonna sit back and let her die!" Mal yelled as he pulled his fist back to punch the doctor.

"She needs her chest cracked and open heart surgery, it's the only thing that can save her." Simon whispered and then fell to his knees and began to cry.

"Ok well you just tell me what to do and I'll do it, we ain't losin Kaylee." Mal replied sounding much less certain than he had only moments before.

"Mal you can't possibly do that surgery. Even if I could see to do the surgery myself I'm not sure if I could save her. This is one of the hardest surgeries a trauma surgeon learns, if you try to do the surgery you'll just kill her faster."

It was almost completely silent in the infirmary after Simon's statement. The only sound was the slow and erratic beat of Kaylee's heart. Suddenly Simon jumped up leaned and over Kaylee hugging her to him. He began to cry harder, his voice coming out in ragged broken sobs. It chilled Mal's heart in a way that nothing had since Serenity Valley.

Simon couldn't believe this was happening. Kaylee his love, the woman he had wanted to marry and have a family with was dying in his arms and he could do nothing to stop it. He felt as if his world was ripping apart, how could God be so cruel to allow Simon the knowledge of how to save Kaylee but not the ability to do it. He could visualize the surgery so clearly in his mind, each step he would take to save her, but all he could do was hold her and listen as she slipped away. "I won't even get to see her face one last time." He thought bitterly. Simon could hear the desperate screams of someone, but it took him a few seconds to absently realize that the noises were coming from him.

Suddenly Simon felt someone tugging on his shirt, but it seemed to be coming from far away as did River's voice. Was she talking to him? He couldn't concentrate on anything but the feel of Kaylee's warm body in his arms and the realization that soon she wouldn't be warm anymore. River's tugging became more and more insistent as she desperately tried to get Simon's attention.

"Simon I can be helpful now! Please!" River cried into his ear. It was the desperate sound of the please that brought Simon back to the present.

"Mei-mei you can't possibly do the surgery. I'm sorry I know you want to help but there isn't anyway…" He trailed off and began to sob again.

River suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him up from where he had again fallen over Kaylee.

It was then that Simon's world exploded. Sight, suddenly after months of darkness he could see again. The effect of it was so startling that he fell to the floor. Not only could he see, but he was looking at himself. He watched as his own body fell to the floor, a shocked look on his face.

"What… Oh my God." He yelled in confusion.

"Getting better, I can send it out, not just take it back." River explained as she knelt down next to Simon.

"Mei-mei what exactly are you doing?" He asked and watched with wonder as he saw his own mouth move.

"Sending out. You see what I see. In here." She explained and tapped his temple.

Simon couldn't grasp what was happening and thought that he would have time to be amazed by it later. Suddenly he had been given the miracle he needed to save Kaylee. He jumped up quickly and began shouting orders at Mal and River.

The surgery wasn't easy, even under the best of circumstance it wouldn't have been easy, trying to do it while seeing it from the slightly off center perspective of someone else made it even harder.

For the first time since Simon had taken River from the Academy he was grateful for the abilities she had been given. Not only was she allowing him to see, but she was also able to read him and know exactly where he needed to look without him having to ask.

Simon was again amazed by how tough his girlfriend was. Never once did her body quit fighting to live, although there were moments during the surgery that Simon was sure her heart would give up.

Six hours later he collapsed on the floor next to the operating table. Kaylee wasn't out of the woods, but he had repaired the damage to her heart and her vitals had become stable. River fell to the floor next to him and just as suddenly as sight had returned to him it disappeared and he was plunged back into darkness.

"Sorry Simon can't keep sending out anymore. Too much concentration, it hurts." River whispered weakly.

"No mei-mei don't apologize. You saved Kaylee, without you she'd be gone by now. You're amazing." Simon replied and pulled River over so that her head was resting in his lap. Within only a few second she had fallen asleep, breathing deeply against his knee.

Jayne walked over and picked River up gently.

"I'll put her in her bunk Doc." He said to Simon and headed out of the room.

Simon leaned his head back against the counter and began to fall asleep, the constant beep of Kaylee's heart comforting him more than any other sound could.

"How she doin Doc?" Mal asked as he stepped into the room. He and Inara had waited in silence outside of the infirmary during the entire surgery.

"It's still serious, but Kaylee's a fighter I think she's going to make it." Simon replied as he tried to stifle a yawn.

"That was, well don't really know what that was. River helpin ya to see I mean."

"I know I don't understand it either. Everything I've ever learned tells me its impossible, but I'm not about to question anything that helped me save Kaylee's life."

"You look bout dead Doc. You should go ta bed I can stay here and keep watch."

"No I'll sleep in here tonight. I just don't want to leave Kaylee if you don't mind."

"Thought you'd say that. There anything ya need fore I go?" Mal asked kindly.

"No as long as Kaylee makes it I don't think I need anything else." Simon answered as he climbed wearily to his feet and headed towards the couch outside the door.

The next morning Simon left Kaylee's side and headed towards River's bunk. She was still asleep when he arrived so he sat down on the end of her bed to wait for her to wake up. It was almost an hour later that River finally stirred.

"Kaylee?" She asked at once.

"Doing well thanks to you. I don't know how to thank you for what you did River. It was amazing, a miracle. How did you do it?" He asked wanting so much to understand how she could have done something so incredible.

"Practice. Thought maybe I could, but I was scared. Didn't want to give you hope if I couldn't do it, but had to try and save Kaylee."

"It didn't hurt you did it? You said last night that it hurt." Simon asked concerned.

"Just takes focus. Hard to maintain, but I think it will get easier in time. Just like reading others did." River explained.

Simon moved to River's side and pulled his sister into his arms.

"Thank you mei-mei. What you did last night was the most incredible thing I've ever seen. I love you."

"Love you too."

Just like the night before Simon could suddenly see again. At first all he could make out was his own back and the rumpled blankets of River's bed. But then River looked into the mirror hanging on the wall and Simon got to see his mei-mei's face for the first time in almost half a year.

It took almost three weeks before Serenity was repaired enough for them to take off. Kaylee's recovery was slow, but she did recover, which was the only thing that mattered to the crew. Between the instructions that Kaylee gave from the infirmary and River's genius brain they were able to fix the thruster and get full power back to the ship. The day that they were able to lift off was the same day that Simon allowed Kaylee out of the infirmary and back into their bunk. As they lay down to sleep that night Simon realized how lonely he had been without her next to him at night.

"Mmhh… good to be back in my own bed." Kaylee whispered drowsily.

"Its good to have you back bao-bei." Simon replied as he snuggled into her hair and kissed her neck.

"Hey Simon think ya can get up and turn the light off for me?" Kaylee asked.

"Sorry didn't know it was still on." Simon replied and climbed out of bed to find the light switch.

"Still wish River could make it so you could see all the time." Kaylee said wistfully.

"Well it ain't perfect, but being able to see some of the time is more of a miracle than I could have hoped for." Simon told her as he climbed back into bed.

"Simon Tam did I just hear you use the word 'ain't?' Never thought I'd see the day you'd ever talk less than perfect." Kaylee teased.

"Guess I'm not as proper as you like to think huh?"

Kaylee laughed and hugged Simon.

"It is pretty amazing though, you bein able to see what River sees."

"Yes it's incredible. I just wish I knew how she does… Wuh de ma!" Simon screamed suddenly and jumped away from Kaylee.

"I'm going to kill my sister. I swear she is evil!" Simon yelled.

"Why what's wrong?" Kaylee asked.

"She just made me see… no it's too revolting I can't even say it out loud." Simon answered as he shook his head back and forth like that could remove the image stuck in his brain.

Suddenly from down the hall they could hear the sound of Jayne screaming. "What the ruttin hell you think you're doin' Crazy?"

Jayne stomped to Simon and Kaylee's bunk.

"Doc you're crazy ass sister was hidin in the shower watchin me!" Jayne complained.

"Yeah I know." Simon replied as Kaylee began to giggle next to him, realizing what it was Simon had seen.

"God she really is such a brat!"

End

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So that's the end of my very first fanfic ever. Hope ya'll liked it and thanks so much to everyone who reviewed it for me!

Translations

Wuh de ma: Mother of God

Lao-tyen: Oh God

Hun-dan: Bastard

Mei-mei: Little sister

Bizui: Shut up

Bao-bei: Sweetheart


End file.
